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I got divorced at age 44, and for about a year afterward, dating wasn’t even on my radar. But when I was ready to dip my toe back into the dating scene again, my friends finally talked me into downloading a dating app. I assumed it would be exactly what everyone complains about now: being on a hamster wheel of dates without finding a real spark. What I didn’t expect was to meet the person I’d build a life with two weeks later. That was over fourteen years ago. We’ve since blended two families that, somehow, actually like each other. We have adult children that consider each other siblings.
I guess I was one of the lucky ones. There are other people’s stories I’ve heard about quite often. Various friends have described this dating thing as a part-time job with a bad return rate: matching, messaging, scheduling a coffee, finding no chemistry, starting over. Repeat that routine while also working to make partner at your firm, running a business, or raising children, and app fatigue can become a real thing. This makes the process of finding a life partner very discouraging. That’s where a matchmaking service, instead of a dating app, might really move the needle.
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KELLEHER INTERNATIONAL |
TAWKIFY |
THREE DAY RULE |
IT’S JUST LUNCH |
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Tier |
Elite Worldwide |
Nationwide |
Metro |
Metro + Some International |
|
Matchmaker Model |
3-person dedicated team + relationship coach |
One dedicated matchmaker + date curation team |
One matchmaker + coaching |
One matchmaker for first dates |
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Coverage |
21+ cities worldwide, customized date experiences in a dedicated, exclusive network |
Nationwide with long-distance video first date option. Customized date experiences in a dedicated network |
7 to 11 major US cities with a dedicated and external network |
100+ US cities plus a few international cities. Dedicated and external network |
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Vetting Disclosed |
Prescreening interview/application process, confidential NDAs, background checks |
Interview with matchmaker, background checks |
Interview with matchmaker, no background check requirement |
Interview with matchmaker, no background check requirement |
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Pricing |
Approximately $50,000-$500,000 |
Approximately $5,000-$70,000 |
Approximately $6,300 + |
Custom quote only |
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Time Cost |
Undisclosed time cost, but expect application, interview, coaching, custom styling, and ongoing support |
1 hour free interview, coaching, post-date questionnaire & support |
Free consultation call, coaching, post-date support |
Initial consultation, post-date follow-up & support |
Why Professionals Are Turning to Matchmakers
A matchmaker’s value is in the amount of work they’ll do on their client’s behalf. They’ll take what they’ve found out about someone and look deep inside their dedicated or public network to curate customized dates for their clients. While depth of services vary, I found that follow-up with the matchmaker or date curation team is included or encouraged after each date. From there, tweaks can be made to the client’s profile to specify what’s most important to them, along with the characteristics they’re looking for in a special someone. Each of these services were assessed on five criteria:
- what busy professionals find important
- time cost
- publicly disclosed vetting depth
- price
- geographic reach
Why vetting matters
While vetting varies depending on the service, it is something that’s included in each of these matchmaking services. I’ve found it’s an important feature that sets matchmaking apart from a dating app, and I must say, I would have appreciated many of those features in my own dating life. With vetting included, one can feel more secure that participants are screened in some way prior to a date even landing on the calendar.
Every company on this list says some version of “we screen our matches,” but what that means differs. Kelleher International and Tawkify publicly disclose that they thoroughly screen applicants and perform background checks. They also keep client information private and exclusively use their own dedicated client pool to pair potential matches. Three Day Rule and It’s Just Lunch outline an interview-based intake process, a dedicated and public network of potential matches, but do not require background checks on the participants.
The Matchmaking Industry Has Tiers, and the Price Range Reflects It
As with anything, it’s pretty normal to find that usually the more you pay, the more services are provided. Matchmaking services aren’t much different in that way.
Firms like Kelleher International sit at the elite end. They operate on an application model, meaning you get evaluated for acceptance before a price is even discussed. The service is built around a small client roster and a very high-touch dedicated three person team. Their site quotes a price range of $50,000-$500,000 per client.
Tawkify is a popular nationwide service that has greater reach with a lower cost of entry. There’s no formal application gatekeeping beyond an initial questionnaire, a single matchmaker per client, and an internal network of 3 million relationship-ready singles. Price ranges per client are approximately $5,000-$70,000.
Three Day Rule and It’s Just Lunch sit somewhere in between. Neither is positioned as an elite choice, and neither is built around nationwide reach as the core selling point either. Three Day Rule memberships start at $6,300 for premium for select metro markets isolated to the USA. It’s Just Lunch operates in select cities across the US and a handful of cities abroad. While they don’t publish their prices, I compared a few popular online resources which show packages may start at about $2,000.
Kelleher International – Elite Tier with International Reach
Kelleher International markets itself to CEOs, athletes, philanthropists, and other high-profile professionals. Every client gets a three-person team: a relationship manager, a market director, and a network developer who recruits candidates for the company’s proprietary network. This is a very different, and hence much higher priced, staffing model than the single-matchmaker approach used elsewhere.
The process runs in three steps starting from the website: an application and phone call, a meeting with the assigned team to review hand-selected matches, and the introductions themselves, with follow-up and refinement based on feedback. Privacy is big at Kelleher, so the dates are blind and no photos are shared before the first date. Confidentiality is highly valued, so no public directories or social media are used. Kelleher asks that participants focus on a person’s energy, personality and the nuances of really getting to know the person inside the physical shell.
The time cost to clients: a higher, more detailed intake leading to ongoing vetting to clarify and tweak the dating plan as one goes along. Since they focus on international reach, Kelleher will design dates around their clients’ multi-country travel schedules.
Membership is priced publicly starting at around $50,000 and heading upwards to $500,000 per client. Kelleher describes itself as highly selective, stating it only represents clients who meet its eligibility criteria.
Clients can expect the date coordination to be customized to their liking. However, with the international reach and high profile clients of some of these matches, this will likely involve a lot of moving parts to design a highly-curated and successful dating experience. This type of elite tier service will involve more application and interview detail, a focus on NDA’s and confidentiality, a multi-person dedicated team every step of the way, all at a higher price point than the other services we’ll look at.
The firm operates dedicated teams in more than 21 cities worldwide, including in Canada and the UK. On their website, they cite an 89% success rate leading to long-term relationships and marriage. Kelleher also emphasizes safety and discretion for public figures and C-suite executives, positioning that NDA type of protection as part of what the price point pays for.
Kelleher International is best for executives or high-net-worth professionals who want a full team on their search and value discretion enough to accept application-based, price-on-request access with international reach.
Tawkify – Nationwide Tier with Flexibility
I can talk a bit more personally here, as I had a consultation with a Tawkify matchmaker as part of my research for this roundup. I felt confident that Anna got to know me well enough to save me a lot of time, money and personal energy. Their motto is “Get Ready for Your Last First Date”. Clients are paired with a dedicated matchmaker, like Anna, who has a one-on-one conversation to learn about relationship history, values, and what you want in a partner. Every match goes through a video interview and a criminal background screening before an introduction is made.
The curation team works with the participants to plan the date, including logistics and scheduling. Client and member profiles, photos and contact information stay private until both people choose to share, which is no sooner than after the second date.
Coaching is included as a standard part of the service. Tawkify reports that approximately 87% of clients say coaching improved their ability to date successfully, and over 80% find success.
So what can you expect for the dates? As standard procedure, all dates are blind. Like Kelleher, they want the focus to be on personality and energy. However, Tawkify does offer a video first date for those far away from each other. Your Tawkify team stays in close touch with you before, during and after the date as needed.
The time cost for clients is a one-hour phone consultation to start, of course the dates themselves, then post-date questionnaires to refine the dating plans and matches.
Pricing for members is a $100 one-time fee to be placed in the dedicated dating pool. Clients receive customized rates of $5,000-$70,000 and can expect a dedicated matchmaker, curated dates and supportive follow up. After an initial questionnaire and a call with a matchmaking specialist, applicants receive package recommendations and pricing. Confidentiality is highly valued, so no public directories or social media are used.
Tawkify is best for professionals who want the nationwide reach and price accessibility of a scaled service without giving up the individual vetting and dedicated matchmaker that boutique firms offer.
Three Day Rule – Metro Tier with Coaching as a Focus
Three Day Rule blends human matchmaking with coaching and technology, employing a US-based team of matchmaking professionals across a reported database of over 250,000 relationship-ready singles which they find on and off their platform. New clients are interviewed by a matchmaker, who sources matches from the internal database as well as outside networking. Expect to view potential match photos as part of the vetting process, and optional professional photo shoots are an offering here as well as a guarantee of no blind dates.
Coaching is touted as a value-add of this service. What can one expect for the dating part? Clients get a dating coach who works on styling, communication, and confidence ahead of a first date, and after each date the client and the coach debrief, with that feedback used to refine the next match.
Expect to have the opportunity to review profiles and photos prior to the date, and be able to use that information to decide whether to spend the time and energy, or not.
The time cost for clients? A free consultation call, leading to date planning services and post-date follow-ups that can refine the offerings for future dates.
Pricing is published on their website with a starting cost of $6,300 for premium tier, with higher-level VIP memberships rising above that. They boast a published 84% satisfaction rating.
Three Day Rule is best for professionals in one of its major metro US markets who want coaching built into the process and don’t need nationwide reach.
It’s Just Lunch — Metro-Plus Tier
It’s Just Lunch has the widest city footprint of the group, operating in more than 100 U.S. cities along with markets in Canada, Europe, and Australia. A matchmaker interviews the client, then hand-selects matches based on that conversation combined with feedback collected after every date. It’s Just Lunch states that they will keep client information confidential. But if depth of vetting is important, it’s worth noting that they do not conduct background checks on any client.
Matches meet over lunch or after-work drinks rather than a formal dinner date, with the matchmaker handling scheduling on both sides, so the only real commitment is showing up. From there, you can choose whether to exchange personal information and give feedback to your matchmaker. They offer a membership pause option, letting clients put their search on hold while exploring a connection with a specific match.
Pricing isn’t published, and membership starts with a confidential interview rather than an online sign-up to determine the level of attention and service one will require. Multi-city packages are available. IJL doesn’t publish their success rates, and their franchise locations are individually managed.
It’s Just Lunch is best for professionals who are looking for a low-pressure first meeting format and broad city and country options, without the higher-touch team structure of an elite firm.
The Consultation Call Sets the Tone
Since most of these companies rely on customized pricing after a consultation, the consult call is where real comparison shopping happens. Don’t just look at a list of features and prices. It’s worth asking directly:
- How many introductions are included
- What happens if match types need adjusting
- How many reliable matches are included in local area
- What vetting is done, and how in depth is it
Be cautious of any service that can’t explain what happens if you’re unhappy partway through a paid package, or that pushes for commitment on the first call. A legitimate and caring matchmaking team should be comfortable letting you take the time you need to decide.
Final Take
My life partner and I got lucky with a popular dating app fourteen years ago, and I don’t take that for granted. Mature professionals who are ready for a real commitment are looking for a process that doesn’t just depend on being in the right place at the right time. They want to hire a matchmaking service that gets to know them before managing their dating life. Most relationship-ready professionals trying to solve dating app fatigue can’t swing a six-figure commitment, but they don’t necessarily need to. With any of these quality companies, you’ll get a feeling of support, security and curated dating experiences. Whichever one you happen to choose, get ready to meet the love of your life!